Matthew LaVelle’s weblog

There are certain things in this world that no matter how far reaching the human grasp of science and technology becomes over the next several centuries will always suck. Case in point: Portable phones.

They always used to suck and then the phone companies got together and said Ok, how can we recreate the wheel here?. I know! Let’s tell everyone that there’s a stronger frequency out there and let’s define it with numbers. The higher the number the better (and consequently more expensive) the phone reception. So they came out with the 900 Megahertz portable phone. Wow! What a miracle! People were so excited to get a decent phone that they all went out and bought one of these marvelous machines that had to have been molded by the biggest group of geeks at MIT. Then since everyone was now on 900 Megahertz, that band started to fill up and we get back to the same problem. So, then came the 1.2 Gigahertz and so on. So, what can we conclude from this? The phone companies make and sell the portable phones so they have a lock on the market. They have collectively decided that instead of putting more money into researching a better technology that they’d rather dump all that money into marketing and advertising the same product over and over again.

Weed eaters are another interesting product. They are, or at least I’m sure that they were at one point designed or perfected by Satan himself. The electric ones are a joke. Not like a funny joke though. More like a sad joke that could make you cry. But yet, people still buy them. And so the sircle is complete. They build these cancer causing machines with lots of things in mind. They want the user to be able to spin a plastic wire very fast and then use the spinning plastic to cut down all matter of living things in one’s yard. Releasing a gasoline/oil mix of lovely fumes into the air whilst you work, you can kill and subsequently be killed. Despite all the science and technology that have been poured into this wonder of the world you’d think that they would at one point step back and say Wow, I wish we could build one of these things that starts properly! I mean think about it, really. I was outside today actually praying to God, which if any of you out there know me this is not something I do often, that this spinning plastic wire thingy would start wasily for once. I mean, when I go to visit my family in Austin my sister, whom is very religious, always asks me to go to church with their family. I usually say no thanks. But here I am, down on my knees in the back yard of my house praying to the almighty to save my arm from the torment that this machine is about to unleash on it.

There’s a neverending list of useless crapola that gets pushed on us by corporations everyday so I won’t go any further. Have a good Memorial Day weekend everyone!

This entry was posted on Friday, May 27th, 2005 at 6:00 pm and is filed under Whining. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.