Matthew LaVelle’s weblog

is that they all must be open or closed. It’s the when and where that’s hard to orchestrate. There can be many factors in your life that may cause your doors to swing open or slam shut at any moment. Case in point: divorce. There’s nothing like a divorce to make your doors go crazy, and that’s what’s caused the three month pause in my blogging adventures.

The door to my blog shut along with some other doors. I couldn’t write anymore. That door may have been shut when our marriage door closed. It may have closed because the door to exercise opened up at the same time. I don’t know. I probably never will.

Another door that slammed shut was the door that had been opened for 4.5 years that led to my talents in the culinary arts. I haven’t cooked or barely used my kitchen at all for 3 months. And there’s no sign showing me that it will open again anytime soon. Many other doors were shut in accordance with my separation from Vicky LaVelle.

Vicky and I were officially divorced on August first, but the actual separation happened back in May. And although it’s a door I sometimes think might be appropriate to open on this blog I will probably refrain from ever doing so. There are a few events in my life that I will always hold closer to me than anything. One of these events is the unfortunate circumstances surrounding our divorce. I wish Vicky absolutely no ill will and I will always love her. But the door to our short marriage was shut about a month ago and it will never open again.

Another door that’s been closed was in the recent death of Frida LaVelle, my standard poodle. She was a rescue that was probably one of the most difficult animals that I’ve ever had to care for in my entire life. I had to put her to sleep because her quality of life was non-existant. She couldn’t see or hear and was having lots of problems getting up off the floor on her own. She was about the sweetest dog I’ve ever met.

Enough about closing doors though. Let me tell you about the doors that have been opening up for me over the last few months. The door that I’m most excited about has been the front gate to LaVelle Vineyards. All summer I’ve been going up to Elmira, Oregon and helping my Dad out in the tasting room of our family business on the weekends. He’s been great about everything that’s been going on in my life and perhaps understands it better than anyone. He’s been divorced before and he knows that things will get harder before they get easier in my life. Dad’s been happy to have me up to the vineyard once a week and our relationship is probably stronger than it’s been in 15 years.

Another door that’s open up for me has been in the form of exercise. I’ve been walking Meelo 3-4 times a week anywhere from 3-5 miles per session. He loves it. I love it. And I’ve had a couple of friends join me in my walking so that’s been great too!

Speaking of freinds, I’ve been hanging out with Joan, Dennis, Christian, and Katie on a weekly basis as well. Joan and her family have been instrumental in my recovery and I will always be greatful for what they have done for me in my time of need. Joan has been walking with me for several months now and we’ve had a great time doing it.

All of my friends and family have been clamoring around me and supporting me to no forseeable end. Sometimes I sit back and think about all the support I’ve gotten over the last few months and I realize that this divorce has just shown me so much more than I would’ve ever known about my friends and family.

Vicky and I will probably never see each other again and I think that today is the first day that I’ve been ok with that fact. People will come and go through the doors in our lives forever and while it may seem like we have no control over it that is absolutely not true. It is our decisions that make us who we are and allow us to open and close these doors at will. The last few months in my life have made me grow up in many ways. The next few months I will be opening up some pretty big doors and stepping through some of them in anticipation of where I’ll take my life next.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 29th, 2005 at 7:03 pm and is filed under My Divorce. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.